Today at work someone said something amazing to me!
I work in a Psychology department at a hospital. Each year we have students that come and go and sometimes stay as employees. The last month we’ve been introducing new students to the department and getting them established with computer access, business cards and all that comes along with becoming a full-fledged Psychologist.
I was having a conversation with one of our new Psychologist students just chatting about different things and what she wants to focus on when her year is up as a student. She said that she would like to help women that have been through trauma and just to help women in general. I told her about my experience of being married to an abuser for 20 years, and then we continued on with our conversation about how far women have come, how we are still treated and how much further we have to go. In the course of that conversation, she said that I and my boss were role models to her as an example of a kind, caring, strong working women.
I was floored by that statement. Not the fact that my boss could be a role model because she is fabulous and a Psychologist herself, but the fact that someone like me, just an administrative person was a role model for her. I was flabbergasted by that. Once she left I started to cry. I had made such a mess out of my life, I never thought I was a role model for anyone.
For the last few years, I have tried to figure out my place in life since my life changed so drastically. I don’t really feel like I fit in church anymore. I feel like that middle child. Too old to play with the young mothers and too young to hang out with the older crowd. Lately, this has made me think about what my life is and where I belong and I realized that I was still trying to get back to that place I was 15 years ago instead of accepting where I was right now.
God needs me to just be me. That’s all. God has given me favor that most all people like me. No matter their backgrounds. I don’t say that bragging. I believe it is a gift from God. I think that somewhere my ancestors prayed that the generations that came after them would have the favor of God. I don’t need to have some kind of ministry at church. The people that need examples of how to live are out in the world with me. They are around me every day. It is my neighbor that needs encouragement or that new Psychologist that is watching my actions at work. This is what living a clean, pure, Jesus girl is about. This reminds me of a scripture I learned as a girl. Philippians 4:8 says, “Whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely and admirable – if anything is excellent and praise worthy think about such things.”