This morning I was sitting on the couch with the sliding door open on my balcony. I live in Phoenix and it gets quite hot in the summer time but the best thing about the summers here are the monsoons that come and cool the air. This morning I was enjoying such a time when the Lord reminded me of something.
As the sun was rising and shining on my balcony, I noticed that the glass in my sliding door was dirty and needed cleaning. I can’t always see it because there is a big tree shading my balcony so once the sun is up, I can’t see the glass as clear anymore. It’s shaded by the tree.
This reminded me of something that happened to me when I was younger and our family was stationed in Germany. My first marriage was very abusive so in order to win his love, I felt like I had to “do” things to get his attention. One of those things was to clean my house until it shinned. That was also one of the things he was very critical about no matter how hard I cleaned or how much it shinned. Now I’m not a perfectionist about house cleaning. My house was not dirty. Maybe stuff sitting around but it was clean. Floors swept and mopped, windows cleaned, bed made and so on.
This day was no different than any other. I was in the kitchen getting ready to make dinner for my family when I bent down to get something from the cabinet when I noticed there was dirty marks on the door. It looked like something had been spilled and run down the cabinet doors. Why had I not noticed this? I had probably been down on the floor cleaning the cabinets before but never seen these marks. Then I noticed something. The afternoon sun was shinning in the window of my kitchen right on the cabinet doors which showed all the stains. At that moment, the Lord reminded me of this fact. Things look all shinny and clean on the outside until Jesus shines his light on my heart then I can see the dirty hidden parts.
I will never forget that day. I can see that moment as clear today as it was just yesterday. I can see that cabinet with the stains running down the front. It was a realization that has never left my mind. Even during my running away from God, that moment in time has always been there.
So this morning, when the sun light was shinning on my sliding door showing the dirty glass, the Lord reminded me again of his light shinning in the dark places and highlighting the things in my life I need to clean up. The dirty things like pride and arrogance and replacing them with humility and grace. These are the things that are on the dirty glass door of my heart. Changing my way of thinking that it’s not all about me. These two things have been life changing for me. Especially at work. Having more humility and remembering what Jesus said not to think myself more highly than I ought. When things seem unfair my flesh wants to protest and I want my way, I remember what Jesus said “Blessed are the humble, for they shall inherit the earth.” Matt. 5:5
Jesus is the window washer of my heart!