I have nights like this sometimes. I don’t usually have trouble sleeping at all. I can usually go to sleep in no more than 5 minutes. My husband has always said he wished he could go to sleep as quick as I can. But on that rare occasion I wake up REALLY early. I’m a morning person by nature but 3:00 AM is a little “too morning” for me.
I know why I woke up early. It’s that darn weight thing again. It has been on my mind more than normal. I’ve been reading a devotional called “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKurst. My reading this morning was based on the scripture, “God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in glory.” Philippians 4:19
All my needs! Wow! That is huge that God can supply all my needs but what I think I need is really what I want.
I find it interesting that the world “want” can be used as either a noun or a verb and the word “need” is only a noun. I’ve been living in the word of “want” as a verb instead of a noun. I’ve been living a selfish life because when you live in the “want” as a verb you expect to have what you want and not take what you need. I know all this is confusing so let me explain.
I am a child. I live like a child. When my kids were small and we would go grocery shopping they would “want” all the items on display at the front of the check out line. If they didn’t get what they wanted, they would either pout or throw a temper tantrum. This is me! This is how I am with food. If I can’t eat the entire bag of chips then I throw a temper tantrum with God and say why do I have this issue. Why can’t I be like the other skinny people and eat what I want and not even have to think about it. Why can’t I have smoking as an issue! (I don’t even know where that came from!) Just because my children “wanted” what they saw didn’t mean they “needed” it.
The same is with God except He is not down here treating me like a child. He expects me to be an adult about the situation and not throw temper tantrums because I can’t eat that 4th piece of pie. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says, “When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I put the way of childhood behind me.”
So at 50, it’s time to put the ways of childhood behind me and accept the responsibility of being an adult and kick the weight issue in the behind.